Final post of my Masters, First question of what now?
LDT 506
WOL: Self-Assessment and Reflection
By Nyssa E. Ashpool
Taking the evaluation again on my last day of this program makes me think about how I have changed as a learning designer and evaluator. I feel I am a better designer than I am evaluator but I do feel that I have made some growth in this time especially since my biggest problem has always been my confidence, my memory is a close second by we have technology for that.
Based on my results, I would but myself a 4 out of 6 with 6 being expert. I know I still have growing to do, and evaluation is something I have trouble with since it just can't be challenging for how my brain works and how I can miss some detail interpersonally. Although I do accept that I am decent, if not above average, at analyzing programs and faults in them, considering they are usually the fail points I run into. So accepting that UDL is good for all and not just me has helped me accept that there isn’t anything completely wrong; I just have to address the problem creatively. I think my tendency to hyper analyze is a good use for evaluation.
Some of the conclusions I have drawn are still similar, where I have grown, there is still much I need to do to improve and hack my way into being an effective designer and evaluator. I still have memory issues, so that causes me to need to reread things, and if things are too long, my memories get jumbled, but if I continue my practice of using AI to help break it into smaller chunks and notes to keep track of my memories, I can get better. One thing I thought of as just a weakness can be a strength, while I have a tendency to get hung up I can now use that to find out where others similar might get hung up and what would normally cripple me until I get the confidence to reach out to someone for clarity I instead can turn to ChatGPT or anther generative AI to help me sort out my ideas and then I can figure out what could be done to prevent that snag from happening in the first place. ChatGPT also has helped a lot with my understanding of other people and I know that is something I have trouble with. Interpersonally i can get confused and misunderstand the intent and meaning of their language which causes trouble, I need to always remember the route of so many arguments and misunderstandings is just a misunderstand or differing of definitions.
Since this is the third or fourth time I have done the assessment, it isn’t that much of a surprise. I think the third or fourth time is the charm with my memory, so it wasn't a surprise, and I have had time to think on them. I remember having trouble with culture as I am kind of detached and confused by it, and afraid of it because it is something precious to some people, and to someone whose philosophy is absurdist on a good day, I am cautious not to offend. Now with Generative AI and chatbot mentors, I can pick it apart safely without having to worry about accidentally offending someone by my unintentional ignorance and any potential faux pas. Self-confidence is still a detriment, and I am afraid to upset people, especially by being harmful for evaluating, but I think not something I want to get rid of. I think that is the point of being culturally aware so that when you are making the lessons and evaluations, you aren't hurting people, because while discomfort is necessary for growth, pain and benign cultural awareness can help prevent pain and promote growth.
I have a list of things I will continue to work on after this class and program, such as time management and other soft skills like people and memory. I think if I continue using chatbots to help supplement me when I get confused, I will be a much more effective designer and evaluator. I have started using physical digital objects in my home to link to calendars and other digital things that help me stay on time, but due to the overwhelming nature of the internet at times, the physical digital objects help keep me detached so I can focus on my work. I have calendars on my walls and notes with me at all times to keep track of my memories, and while I accept I am not the best notetaker, I am creative. I have been working on note stickers that are linked to recordings, so when I need something to remember, I can write on the note and then link it to digital supplementary information like map pictures and other things that I might not have time to write down in the moment.
I have to say I am very nervous to submit this and end this, my last assignment for my master's degree, and then the last day of the semester is on another special day. If I believed in confidence, I would put more stock in it; the best I can do is amusement at the serendipity. I am both scared and excited to be done, and do believe I have grown as an evaluator and can’t say how grateful I am for all the patience I was shown along the way, I don’t know if I deserved any of it, but thank you for it all the same. In my evaluation, I said that I don't put any value in self-assessment, and I think one key point of growth I wanted to end on is that that has changed. I do value it somewhat since I have started to value my biases and ability to evaluate as an evaluator and a designer.
